As children, when we had little power over our environment, we craved rituals, for a sense of security  Repeating a bedtime ritual eased the transition between our desire to keep going and our need for rest. With my first child, I told her the stories of the pictures on her bedroom wall before putting her in the crib.

As middle life adults, we could get along without rituals and routines. So many factors interfere with ordering our lives — the demands of the job, the disruption caused by a family member, the excitement of travel. I didn’t have enough focus to stick to a routine but I had enough energy – and power over my own life – to deal with change.

As elders, I believe we require routines, to be safe. My mother survived till age 96 because she always did everything in a certain order.  Now I — who rarely did things twice the same way – find that I am beginning to be anxious about making changes. Is it safe for me to travel? Will I remember to do the right things in the same way in another place?

Children gain power, as they grow. That’s how it should be. We elders, whether we want to or not, are giving up power, ever so gradually. I am learning to embrace the necessary concept of sticking to routines. That’s how it is.  

(image generated by AI)