It is Never About You, said Michael Goldberg, giving the Pool Rules of Networking to a Princeton Chamber audience on June 4. “It is always about them until they make it about you.” An adjunct professor at Rutgers who makes his living as a conference speaker, he has an online newsletter and blog, Building Blocks to Success. (Photo by Stephanie F. Black)

Having read the article in U.S. 1 Newspaper, I came to the lunch figuring I knew the tips he would give, but no, there were lots more. For openers, instead of “what do you do,” try “Do you like what you do?” or “What about it do you love, and what don’t you like.”

Goldberg said he likes about one-third of the people he meets. What about the rest?

Say: “It was great hearing about your business, but I’m going to let you go. I don’t want to waste your time.”

If you like the person but can’t help them, say, “Who are you looking to meet?” and then try to introduce them (and introduce them with passion, tee them up.)

If you like the person and CAN help them, say, “Tell me how I can help you. Who’s a good client for you?”

And then plan to follow up. “It sounds as though we have a lot to talk about.” Exchange cards and ask permission to jot a note on the back of their card, or use an index card.

When it’s “all about them” and you have helped them all you can, you might hear someone say, “Enough about me.” That’s your cue.