When I asked white friends to attend Not in Our Town’s workshop, presented and co-sponsored by the Princeton Public Library in April, on “Exploring White Privilege”, the answer was sometimes “I’m not privileged, I came up from nothing, I don’t believe in that concept.” Some replied, and it was a good answer, that the white privilege concept wrongly implies that all white people are alike (they aren’t) and that it visited the sins of the fathers on the sons.

I didn’t have a good answer then, I do now. Donald Roscoe Brown, a lawyer who lives in Ewing, wrote an oped published in today’s Times of Trenton (Thursday, June 18, page A-15). Brown’s words were kind to the Lawrence police officer who stopped him “after seeing me for all of five seconds” because he “might not have been wearing his seat belt.” Brown said he was “perhaps poorly trained.”

I too have been stopped for suspicion of not wearing my seat belt, but under much more controlled circumstances, i.e. a seat belt checking station. Brown was simply driving through Brunswick Circle, enroute from Trenton Municipal Court, where he was working on a case involving an unconstitutional stop and search.

To my white friends who don’t acknowledge their white privilege – you will never have to go through the jeopardizing experience of “Driving While Black.”

As a member of Princeton United Methodist Church, I belong to Not in Our Town, a faith congregation-based social action group. It offers continuing opportunities to combat racism and bias in Princeton. For information, comment here or E-mail niot-princeton@gmail.com.

Everyone, no mattter how rich or powerful or seemingly well adjusted, is insecure, said Rev. Peter K. Stimpson, speaking to the Princeton Chamber on Wednesday at the Nassau Club. Stimpson heads the Trinity Counseling Service, pens advertorials for Town Topics, and has just written a book of short essays, “Map to Happiness.” (The counseling service, by the way, has its gala on July 11 at Bedens Brook.)

At that moment, I didn’t feel insecure. Who me? I had just unearthed my summer seersucker jacket, paired it with cream slacks, a red tee, and snazzy red shoes. I wasn’t insecure. I was hot stuff.

Then afterward Linda Kibrick (who is herself a counselor at Crossroads for Health and Wellness) commented how nice I look and I found myself (no, no, don’t do it, aargh you did it) responding negatively, confiding that the blue and white seersucker jacket didn’t really go with cream pants, that the pants should really be white.

Caught in insecurity.

Stimpson says that when we let insecurity take over, we are giving power to other people. Your employer does not define your worth. If you get a bad grade or a less than ideal rating or even if you are laid off, that’s a bad outcome but you, yourself, are good and have good qualities. Forgive yourself for mistakes.”

“Take back the power,” he says, telling of a 7^th grader, a notoriously bad baseball player, who – one day — made a miraculous catch that won the game. He ran home to tell his father, and his father’s only response was, “Did you get a hit?” The boy was shattered. “Don’t give the power to other people,” says Stimpson.

And, “Reach for things that will last. What you attain doesn’t go with you to the next life. What you decide to become does go with you. How you interact is how you grow.”

I’m still going to try to lose three pounds so I can fit into the white pants that go with that jacket. But I’ll forgive myself if I don’t make it.

It is Never About You, said Michael Goldberg, giving the Pool Rules of Networking to a Princeton Chamber audience on June 4. “It is always about them until they make it about you.” An adjunct professor at Rutgers who makes his living as a conference speaker, he has an online newsletter and blog, Building Blocks to Success. (Photo by Stephanie F. Black)

Having read the article in U.S. 1 Newspaper, I came to the lunch figuring I knew the tips he would give, but no, there were lots more. For openers, instead of “what do you do,” try “Do you like what you do?” or “What about it do you love, and what don’t you like.”

Goldberg said he likes about one-third of the people he meets. What about the rest?

Say: “It was great hearing about your business, but I’m going to let you go. I don’t want to waste your time.”

If you like the person but can’t help them, say, “Who are you looking to meet?” and then try to introduce them (and introduce them with passion, tee them up.)

If you like the person and CAN help them, say, “Tell me how I can help you. Who’s a good client for you?”

And then plan to follow up. “It sounds as though we have a lot to talk about.” Exchange cards and ask permission to jot a note on the back of their card, or use an index card.

When it’s “all about them” and you have helped them all you can, you might hear someone say, “Enough about me.” That’s your cue.

(This entry is an expanded version of what was posted on June 4).

This recession is a great time to be an entrepreneur, said Larry Chaityn, chapter president of an angel group (Keiretsu Forum NY Tri-State) because investors need somewhere to put their money.

“We have great deal flow,” he said, “because the Fortune 100 will be frozen for 18 months. You have an 18 month window.”

So many were eager to hear that message that the Forrestal Marriott had to set up extra tables for the New Jersey Entrepreneur Network meeting yesterday. Eighty people registered and another 2 dozen paid at the door for “A Gathering of Angels,” a round table with 7 angel funding groups.

It took about 45 minutes for each and every one of the attendees to introduce themselves, and, for me, that was really the best part of the program.

Such variety. Such inspiring stories, delivered in the 10 seconds allowed for each person. It was a good mix between entrepreneurs seeking funding (in some cases, seeking employees), investors seeking opportunities, and professional providers seeking clients.

Just two of the stories for now. I was thrilled to meet Daniel Kogan, CEO of Health World Web in Manhattan. He was standing around looking lonesome and my motherly instincts kicked in. A short chat about what he does in the e-health area (social networks for patient communities) and then, hmm, I thought, this is right down Esther Dyson’s alley. So I made a pitch for July 9, when the Princeton Chamber has inveigled Esther Dyson to speak. Turns out, yes, he had heard of Esther – in fact she is one of his advisors. What a great coincidence.

We sat together at lunch and on my other side was Sri P. Srivastava, founder of Clintech Research. I’d interviewed him for U.S. 1 but we’d never met, and he was eager to tell (and I was eager to hear of his success).

In the photo above, Srivastava is on the left, Kogan on the right. I snapped some candids that may help jog memories. Here is the link to the photos. (E-mail me or comment if you don’t want your photo or name used or if you weren’t IDed and want to be).

Lunch attendees were encouraged to contact their state legislators regarding A-3883 ACS, which expands New Jersey programs to encourage investments in small technology companies. According to the New Jersey Technology Council (http://www.njtc.org/) this bill was up for a vote on June 4, and it would increase state funding for tech businesses from $10 million to $15 million. In this recession, you ask? It doesn’t cost the state that much, because young tech businesses get to sell off their tax losses. (Apparently the bill did pass the committee, here is the link.)

Here are the angel speakers and their links:

Loren D. Danzis of Delaware Crossing Investor Group.

Joan Zief of Golden Seeds (female entrepreneurs).

Mario M. Casabona and Katherine O’Neill of JumpStart NJ Angel Network (mostly, but not all, in NJ, uses http://www.angelsoft.net for applications).

Larry Chaityn of Keiretsu Forum NY Tri-State

Christopher Starr of Mid-Atlantic Angel Group Funds.

David Twersky of Robin Hood Ventures and

Ellen Sandles of Tri-State Private Investors Network, the longest running and the only one who will “do” retail.

Other gleanings: If you meet one angel, you can connect with several, because they work together. A good place to meet them is at private airports, because — as risk takers — they are often pilots. If your business requires execution, don’t apply for angel money until you have some sales. And the oldie but goodie, angels invest where others fear to tread.

In case you missed the NYT business section on Monday, a bunch of Star Ledger journalists are doing just what Richard Bilotti, ex publisher of the Times of Trenton, predicted would happen: Having lost their jobs, they couldn’t stop being reporters, so they set up shop in a library and started a website, www.newjerseynewsroom.com.